the preface

Oh, well. I have to start somewhere. Here's the akward first post, then.

Journaling is believed to be an ally and tool for anyone trying to change mind and behavior. Which is what i'm attempting at.
The primary motive for starting this journal is that I hope it would aid me in becoming the person I wish to be. I'm a day-dreamer, but whenever I indulge, I like to think about me as someone entirely different. Well, me - but thinner, better dressed, more intelligent, more beautiful, more adventurous... better. I know I can. I must.
The idealist and enthusiast part of me is all for improving in all aspects, starting tomorrow and never looking back. The more realistic side is, well, more reallistic.
I have tried changing things - small things, big things, all kinds, all of the time. One thing I've realized: it's never easy. Knowing me, I need a clear plan, baby steps, limited cheeting opportunities and control. So here's the thing:
-> goal: not really definable, is it?. Improve myself, be the person I'd love to be, yada, yada. There's tons of subsections.
-> plan: I know what is right and what should be done, but I'm also lazy and can make up excuses for just about anything. The plan is to take it day at a time. It's easier to look forward to a day of doing as should be done as oposed to a lifetime of right choices. Right now, there's no way I can imagine having no chocolate for the rest of my life; but a chocolate free day tomorrow doesn't sound impossibe. Besides, change has to be permanent to give results, but permanent happens gradually. The plan is to have weekly goals, which are to be broken to daily thingies, which will then be precisely executed.
-> control: this is where the blog comes in. I love to analyze everything, but it's mostly happening in my mind only. This blog should (a) save me heaps of money I should be spending on therapy; (b) help me get going. I hope that as thoughts turn into words, words will turn into actions, which in turn will give results.